People say that time is critical.
Time is something that we should not waste.
We should use it wisely.
Over and over again they say we should enjoy it and make the best out of it…
She was broken. Cry all day into the night. Years that blows upon her face.
She never thought she will need to face of grief on a person she loved so much. She spent the best years with him and now she found herself standing all alone. Yet, he was alive.
Day and night she was crying like hell into the pillow so no one can hear the scream.
The sadness becomes stronger and brought her into physical pain. A sharp pain cut through her chest, like a knife straight into the center of her heart – time after time without warning or any kind of mercy.
They know each other for years. Since the MBA…
After a few years she lived oversea they met again. They missed each other. He wanted to hug her, but she pushed him away.
He tried to put a hand on her shoulder like saying "everything will be ok" – she took a step back.
She convinced herself "I could not allow". She was afraid to fell apart.
As he knows her quite a while, he looked at her trying to cheer her up, reminding her how beautiful and strong she were from the beginning of the time and how he believes that she still is.
You could see even through the dark sunglasses, her red-swallow eyes. So many sleepless nights. So many tiers.
He didn't like the sadness from her eyes.
He loved her smile and energy.
This time he notes, she was struggling.
She felt lost.
Lost a dream and love. Lost her path. Her shining light.
He wants her to be happy again, but he knew it doesn't matter what he'll try. Not like in the past…
Not like when he drove all night into the morning light until she stopped crying when she broke up with her boyfriend.
This time he knew, in this case – she needs time.
Nothing or no-one can do it for her. All she needs to feel is that she's not alone.
She thought she can't handle the pain, request for help. Not secure. He believed that she thought that the only way to stop the pain is to die as she shared with him that she asked God to take the pain away. To take her out of this life.
She knew she won't harm herself. This is why she asked the universe to do it for her…
She had suffered hard times in her life. The list is too long to describe, she always laughs about her life like a "telenovela".
She knew how is it to lose a smile – like the time after the accident. She knew how is it to rely on others like time after she broke her foot and becomes a "potato couch". Both cases she gains Weight
as been less active, she looked older and kept in touch just with people that truly were next to her.
She crosses so many bridges and challenges in her life, metaphorically and real, this time she couldn't see herself passing successfully this trail.
This case was different.
Everyone around her thought she was brave. She is strong. Once she looked herself in the mirror and ask: "am I the only one that seeing how wick I am and all I wanna is to sleep and never wake up, or at least to wake up from this nightmare?"
She shut herself out from everyone.
Time passing by.
She found herself smiling again. Crossing trails and more bridges.
Time is not healing the wounds, she admits and understood.
All the experience we have in life, the hard times leave scars.. in our body.. in our spirit.. in our soul.
Time helps to make you stronger than before.
This is why we should not waste our time.
Time is precious. We need to make the best of it (and with the people in it) because the time that passes away – will never come back.
She continues, trying more than all – to convince herself that everything will be all right.
Meaning by that:
# There is no need to push or rush (but on the other hand – not to wait for something to happen..).
# There is time for everything, especially when facing hard times.
# Yes, still, we require using it wisely but we should give a time to recover too.
# There is no right or wrong on the matter of time – we are doing our best at the moment that something happens.
# Each situation requires different handling time, as it is from a different angle.
There is a process that includes: understanding, excepting, dealing and healing (sometimes together, sometimes apart), get stronger and move on.
We have to go through the process.
It does not have to be the same and sometimes we choose to ignore, skip straight to the level of move on.
I can understand now more than ever about the meaning of "time" as "she" is me…
It took me time to recover; knowing that everything comes for the best and how important it is not to skip stages and not to stuck at any level.
